Rewind (Continued..)

-19 years ago-

7 years old - Primary 1

Just when i was about to get comfy with my kindergarten life, things got changed again. However, it's for the worse. I had a new school, and it was no longer around the corner of the next street. All my friends which i had worked so hard to gain their trust were gone. I was introduced to something new, something i didn't like; school buses. New uniform, new shoes, new books. I was back to square one. Everything seems so strange to me.

Of course, once again i was accompanied by my mum to the school on my first day. I was shocked to see that the school was so much bigger, even the class itself was 'huge', there were even more people. As usual, i started showing the usual sign, threatening to make a 'scene' if my she were to leave me. I was in the class, there were so much chatter, and yet, i was focused only on one thing; my mum outside overlooking through the windows, smiling as usual and waving at me, hinting that i was going to be alright.

I wasn't. And for that moment, i thought i was the only person in the entire class who cried like there were no tomorrow. Everybody stared at me, and it didn't helped. My mum came in, and consoled me, i insisted that she stayed. She said that i would make new friends and that she couldn't be there for me the entire days. It took a little convincing before i finally sort of settled down, yet still on the verge of bursting into tears if i were upset, like a ticking timebomb.

Eventually, she left. First lesson this time was coloring lesson. I confidently whipped out my shining new Staedtler Luna 12 color pencils. There was a coloring book, and i kind of painted everything in brown, the chairs, cupboard, the skies, cloud, and even the people. I didn't quite understand why but i thought i was having some sort of mental breakdown. My teacher walked past through me, surprised and told me that it could more colorful than that, and that i should try to seek for help from my friends.

I turned to my side, there was this another kid who was painting effortlessly with his brand new Luna color pencils as well, only that it was a 36 color set! Wow, i thought! That's a lot of colors, i looked again at my own Luna 12, feeling slightly inferior now, not so confident anymore. I could already felt that the time bomb is ticking quicker. I was green with envy. I asked if i could use some of his color pencils (which i didn't have) to help with my coloring. Guess what? He refused! That's it! I exploded, almost literally. What an arrogant piece of $@#()$*!)@$*.

Win










Lose




It was pretty chaotic for a while, with my classroom teacher trying to calm me down. My mum wasn't there anymore. I was pretty sure that arrogant brat felt really guilty after what he did to me, and decided to lend me a hand in the end. At the end of the day, we became friends :)

Rewind

All of a sudden, my mind drifted back to my good old childhood days. While i tried to recall as many of those fond (and some not so fond) memories as possible, without realizing it, i found that I'm smiling to myself as those thought filled my mind thinking how sweet yet silly it really was back then.

-20 years ago-

6 years old - Kindergarten


Oh no, today is the day i have to leave and be away from home for the very first time for school. I do not like this at all, not even one bit! How far was my school then, one would ask? Well, it is just at one of those houses in the next street around the corner. Yes, it's just some 10mins walk away, maybe 5. My mum even promised to send me to the school that morning and would be back on time to pick me up at noon, not one minute late! Still, i am not convinced, my body and my feet felt heavy as i dragged myself onto the back of the bicycle, ready to be "chauffeured" to the school by my mum. Even the brand spanking new uniform feels like everything else except comfortable.

Will i be able to make new friends?

Will i see ever my mum again?

Can i ever go home again?

What if....?

All these thought flooded my already stressed out little brain. I started to sob as i entered through the gate, refused to let go of my mum. She reassured me, but it only made the situation worse. I started to cry, wanting to be pampered and told that everything is gonna be alright. After a few pushes, i finally gave in.

I saw many other cheerful kids who were around my age at that time. Everybody seems to have their own circle of friends, except me. I felt really left out since i was kind of shy and do not usually approach other kids to make friends. I remember very vividly that my very first "lesson" was clay shaping, also more fondly known as the plasticine class. That's when i would loosened up a little bit and became less paranoid because it was a so fun i wish every period would be the same. Of course, it wasn't.

I finally made some friends towards the end of first day and to my surprise, i found that the boys and the girls had their respective groups and does not really get along with each other. This was when the infamous "hmph, i don wan fren you" threat was first encountered. I often find myself getting distracted and depressed after getting those remarks and soon i found myself working really hard to gain recognition and acceptance from the others. I was worried that nobody wanted to befriend me, and that i would end up being left alone. Everything seems.... so fragile. There were even once that i went and literally beg them not "outcast" me and yes, i cried when they refused to listen to my plead. It went on for a few days when they finally "accepted" me into their group. Yes, it might sounds trivial now, but trust me, it wasn't the case for me, or any other kids of my age for that matter. It was that bad :(

Of course, eventually i grew adapted to the new environment and since then, there have been so many events (most of which i couldn't remember) took place. The sport day, ABC classes, the mandarin classes with homeworks involving unending repetition of chinese characters writing, math,recess time (where i brought sandwiches made by my mum in a little squarish tupperwares, it was pretty decent), occasionally envious of other who got better homemade breakfast.

While i've enjoyed the better most of my kindergarten days, i must say that the thing that I had always look forward to the most everyday was for my mum to show up, smiling at the gate to fetch me home. I would always charge at her energetically like a mad bull whenever i see her. Best of all, she had never failed to show up on time! Early, sometimes. Late, never once.


to be continued...