Two years ago, i expressed some feelings here....on this very same place; where i thought once again, i was devestated *almost* beyond repair, but i survived. I bet the past experiences had taught me well.
I managed to pull through...
persevere...
think positively...
hope...
more hope...
and even...force myself to hate her at one point
just to make myself feel all less miserable. How selfish. Of course, i couldn't bring myself to hate her in the end; not anyone for that matter..but myself. Why myself? I didn't really know why. I didn't even know if there was a reason to hate myself. I just needed to blame someone.
Ahh... it matters not anymore..
For now she is back by my side, today, 6 months ago...
If this had happen 2 years ago when i first met her, i wouldn't have known what the outcome be..
But today i know one thing for sure, that she is the best thing that ever happened to me..
I used to like her..a little....then a little bit more...then a lot, and then, that's when it happened...
I basically shot myself in the feet
But today...I am, without any doubt, in love with her.
My dearest baby,
I'm sorry that you had to go through some rough patches in the beginning of our journey.
I was just trying to protect myself, selfishly again..not realizing that i was just about to throw away yet another golden opportunity in my life..
I almost lost you, again..
But i woke up right at the very last moment, and I told myself this...
"hey, don't you dare to fuck this up again"
and that day when you broke down, i died a little inside ...
I know i had went too far, and you deserve nothing of this.
I realized that the person that i wanted to protect now is not myself anymore, not me...
but you.
I know the time we've been together isn't all that long..
Yet, i felt like i've known you for eternity,
of course, there are times we still had our disagreement..
but more often than not, our minds would click in the most unexpected way, in such a way that it totally send a chill down my spine..
You might think that i'm saying this just to make you happy,
and I've said this times and times again...
but i really meant it when i say..
You are already perfect the way you are.. i don't need anything more, nor anything less..
We still have a very long journey ahead of us..
But together, i'm confident that we will be able to overcome anything that's thrown across our way in the future..
and when things do get tough, and we are beginning to lose it..
do remember to remind each other to take one step back and think again
It's important that none of us loses our mind throughout this journey,
Only that way, we'll emerge victorious at the end of the line..
I managed to pull through...
persevere...
think positively...
hope...
more hope...
and even...force myself to hate her at one point
just to make myself feel all less miserable. How selfish. Of course, i couldn't bring myself to hate her in the end; not anyone for that matter..but myself. Why myself? I didn't really know why. I didn't even know if there was a reason to hate myself. I just needed to blame someone.
Ahh... it matters not anymore..
For now she is back by my side, today, 6 months ago...
If this had happen 2 years ago when i first met her, i wouldn't have known what the outcome be..
But today i know one thing for sure, that she is the best thing that ever happened to me..
I used to like her..a little....then a little bit more...then a lot, and then, that's when it happened...
I basically shot myself in the feet
But today...I am, without any doubt, in love with her.
My dearest baby,
I'm sorry that you had to go through some rough patches in the beginning of our journey.
I was just trying to protect myself, selfishly again..not realizing that i was just about to throw away yet another golden opportunity in my life..
I almost lost you, again..
But i woke up right at the very last moment, and I told myself this...
"hey, don't you dare to fuck this up again"
and that day when you broke down, i died a little inside ...
I know i had went too far, and you deserve nothing of this.
I realized that the person that i wanted to protect now is not myself anymore, not me...
but you.
I know the time we've been together isn't all that long..
Yet, i felt like i've known you for eternity,
of course, there are times we still had our disagreement..
but more often than not, our minds would click in the most unexpected way, in such a way that it totally send a chill down my spine..
You might think that i'm saying this just to make you happy,
and I've said this times and times again...
but i really meant it when i say..
You are already perfect the way you are.. i don't need anything more, nor anything less..
We still have a very long journey ahead of us..
But together, i'm confident that we will be able to overcome anything that's thrown across our way in the future..
and when things do get tough, and we are beginning to lose it..
do remember to remind each other to take one step back and think again
It's important that none of us loses our mind throughout this journey,
Only that way, we'll emerge victorious at the end of the line..
Love you much much, xoxo!
