Are "feelings" really that short-lived these days? Or was it simply overrated? For a start, it could have confirmed my doubts because i thought i was overreacting initially. Have anything you said or done ever been real before? Or was it all just an act? Why are you doing this? Did the past 1 month means anything to you, at all? There were just too much mysteries surrounding you that i can't help but continue to wonder.
During this past short month, i might have acted a little bit cold at times, acted like i didn't care, might have seemingly ignored things you said that i had, in actual, engraved in my heart. It hurts.. you know, for not being able to return these feelings freely; not because i did not want to, but because i resisted. You could say that i think too much, but seriously, i don't care. If possible, I just wanted to take away all your burdens so that you do not have a single worry for the rest of your life.
Honestly, I was amazed, how could one mere month left a mark like that in me, although it wasn't as deep as i feared it would be, fortunately; but still enough for me to stop and think, to pen my thought which i don't usually do. Everything that i did, i did for a reason; I just wanted to know if you really like me for who i am, and not because of what i do or say. You know, i don't want to be just another guy who happened to pass through in your life.
However, it just get harder to resist the more and the longer i know you. In another word, i can't help but keep liking you more and more. It may sounds stupid to you, but personally i think this is the only way answer certain things that i needed to know, if there was any. Indeed, it did prove something, which i was still hoping that it'll turn out to be wrong one day.
Sure, you are not perfect in many ways. But, so am I. Don't get me wrong, but these flaws are what making you so unique and attractive i find it hard not to like. If you ask me, i'd rather want you to keep them than trying to be somebody you are not. We are human; human make mistakes, there's no stopping to it, but....as long as we are willing to learn from it, it will never be the end of the world.
It was so close, yet so far away. I had a few plans in mind. I was starting to think that you'd make a good partner and i do seriously think that you have everything it takes to be someone who could settle down one day, as opposed to what you might have thought of yourself. I genuinely would like to start that journey with you. Sadly, it didn't happen. Maybe there were simply too much incompatibilities between us.
Or maybe, nothing has even started at all in the first place...
All in all, the best word to describe the experiences that I've had when we were "together" would be.....to put it simply, priceless. Maybe not as much to you as it was to me. For me, it's an another eyes opener after so long and for that, i am eternally grateful for your presence in my life, even though it's only temporary. May you find "the one" soon and live the life that you have always wanted, i knew you would. Remember to always cherish what you have, because when it's gone you'd wish that you could turn back time.
I do really hope that you read this, although it's very unlikely. Because if you do, it only means that another doubt of mine has been disproved.
*Hugs*
and remember to drink enough water as well =)
